Puff Ball Paladin: The Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Allopo

Alteil Story Discussion

Puff Ball Paladin: The Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Allopo

Postby VinegarSoda » Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:34 am

I say the cool stories and I thought they were all great, but then I noticed that there were barely any stories on unit cards. I can't understand this, because of the wonderful opportunities the unit cards give for stories. I'm mean, other than generic history, you can pretty much makeup whatever you want. ;a33

Anyway I'm spending way too much time on that. So here's something I wrote about one of my favorite cards. It isn't great, so please give reviews so that I can get better. Here goes:

The sky darkened overhead. The creature could barely stay on course due the fierce gales and heavy snow. Still, it maneuvered with all its strength in pursuit of the enemy. That was there homeland, and they would protect it, regardless of how fluffy they were! "FOR LAND AND COUNTRY!!!!" shrieked the tiny puffball, which could be heard as a timid “breng-eh” from a tiny dust cloud. The battlefield was littered with chaos, full of the tufts of fluff from fallen comrades, their noble limbs tossed randomly about by the unforgiving blizzard. The young Kesaran Pasaran Captain closed in on the King Shade, the fiend responsible for this madness. Though the smallest Kesaran Pasaran, he alone had managed to slip right behind it. The Captain raised his holy blade above its head (?)…focused his Ki… and…was blown away by a sudden gale far into the clouds, leaving both his men and enemy behind. The frigid air choked his fluffy body (?) then everything went black.

“Bet’cha I could!!”
“Bull-crap!!”
“Could too! I could catch a whole pile of snow on my tounge!!” yelled the boy almost frantically. I was nearly blasphemous to think his friend did not beleave him.
“Let’see ya do’wit, then.” The girl smirked darkly, hoping to expose weakness.
“I’ll even do it with my eyes closed!!” The six year old boy shut his eyes. Well…mostly shut. Shut enough to shut his friend up. Shut enough for him to not notice the humongous white blob of snow falling from the clouds directly on his tougue. His friend was speakless, but not for the reason he would have liked. His eyes jutted open when the perfect snowflake he cought tasted like sweat and bird feather. He nearly back flipped, yelling “Sweet Refess!!” when the snowflake quivered and started breathing.
Awoken by the saliva, the Captain looked around wildly, expecting to see flames for his past sins on the war front. The boy sharply tried to spit him away, by the fluff caused the Captain to become stuck to the child’s chin, against his will. Boy’s friends had noticed. The Captain thought quickly. He regained his composure, adjusted his helm and extended a tuft of fluff in an attempt to make a gentlemanly handshake.
“Hello”, he said. “My name is Allopo, Captain of the 4th Company of the Cotton-ball Army. This may be a lot to ask, but I’ll some need help returning home to my men. Could you point me in the direction of the nearest leaf shuttle?” Then…there was silence. You see, though the Captain was well-rounded and well-versed where he came from, his intellect could not change the fact that his entire statement roughly translated to Lavato meant nothing more than a mere timid “breng-eh”.
“Whad’do we do wi’thit? Aren’ them thing-gies good luck’re sumpthin’? I say we go gamblin’!”
“Aren’t we only kids?”
“What’re ya, a sissy?”
With that, the two quickly snatched up our tiny hero, only to be poked most severely by his legendary mithril toothpick blade. Their arm movements alone were enough to propel him out of harms way, and the snow helped to hide him, but the children still had a general idea of where he was and chased heartily. This city was large and unfamiliar, yet young Allopo continued to glide on the winds that had so deserted him.

It seemed that our poor officer would go through hell and back before getting home.

That's...uhhh...all I have for now. If you've ideas, lay'um on meh!! ;a33

Go Refess!! ;a41
Refess Pimp...in training.

;a41
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Re: Puff Ball Paladin: The Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Allopo

Postby DWildstar » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:26 am

Hahaha, when I saw that it was Kesaran Pasaran fanfic that made me want to read it more than any of the fanfics that had character cards in it. Very cute. Though I think what a kesaran pasaran fanfic needs is the moment when his small attack power manages to finish off a large dying creature ;)
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Re: Puff Ball Paladin: The Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Allopo

Postby luckysvn777 » Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:01 pm

Alright that's it.

We need a character card named Legendary Kesaran Pasaran/Allopo right now! (even though you were going for a unit)

It would be awesome.

Thanks for that, hope to hear more
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Re: Puff Ball Paladin: The Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Allopo

Postby VinegarSoda » Tue Apr 21, 2009 5:12 am

Thanks, guys! Frankly, I didn't think I'd deceive replies so quickly. On the same day!

DWildstar wrote:Hahaha, when I saw that it was Kesaran Pasaran fanfic that made me want to read it more than any of the fanfics that had character cards in it. Very cute. Though I think what a kesaran pasaran fanfic needs is the moment when his small attack power manages to finish off a large dying creature ;)


I was thinking of a part where Dalos has a cold or the flu and could barely stay awake when Allopo challenges him (and he understands!)

luckysvn777 wrote:Alright that's it.

We need a character card named Legendary Kesaran Pasaran/Allopo right now! (even though you were going for a unit)

It would be awesome.

Thanks for that, hope to hear more


Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Captain/Allopo. Sounds pretty awesome to me. ;a33
Refess Pimp...in training.

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Re: Puff Ball Paladin: The Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Allopo

Postby VinegarSoda » Tue Apr 21, 2009 7:06 pm

uhhh...Do I just post more here? Or a new thread...?
Refess Pimp...in training.

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Re: Puff Ball Paladin: The Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Allopo

Postby DWildstar » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:39 pm

If it's a continuation of the great Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Allopo then I'd say keep it here :D
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Re: Puff Ball Paladin: The Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Allopo

Postby Harion » Fri May 01, 2009 1:18 am

i/we want moar!

give allopo a love interest
perhaps a sunflower seed or something
My goal is not to win, but to have fun.
But since winning is fun, I can't help but to make winning my goal.
--
Bear killing axe-man was meant to be what it's name suggests - a killer unit. Sadly, there were no bears to kill in Alteil.
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Re: Puff Ball Paladin: The Legendary Kesaran Pasaran Allopo

Postby VinegarSoda » Mon May 04, 2009 3:17 am

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

I'm working on it (sorta). Gimme a week or two. Maybe. ;a33
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