The Tongue Is Like A Phoenix

[Grain]

A Plan For the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain

--In year 1, that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s;" and likewise, "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" ould be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealth with later. Year 2 might reform the "w" spelling so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant wile year 3 might well abolish "y," replasing it with "i;" and iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jeneraly, then the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants; and iears 6-12 or so modifaiiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist kononants. Bai iear 15, it wud be fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c," "y," and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu replais "ch," "sh," and "th," rispektivli.

Finali, xen, ater sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling iniuse xrewawt xe Ingliy-Spiking werld.--

[DanTheTimid]

I don't understand how you can replace y with i, i never creates a "yuh" sound, its a unique sound only to y. I would agree with it no longer being used as a vowel since in that context its usually only used in place of i or e, but to straight out remove it makes no sense.

The rest however makes sense and probably would improve the english language quite a bit, there really is no reason for the letter c to exist when all it does is copy k and s sounds, nor is there a need for x. Instead of removing y it makes more sense to me to remove Q since like x its sound is just a copy of to other letters, in this case "kw", and then later in the plan in place of y, q could replace the "sh" sound instead.

[erestor]

*whoosh* half went right over my head
but when the 'c' is droped 'ch' sould be added just for those words that have it...like in spanish with 'LL' which if i remember has accully been droped from the spanish alphabet. also 'ph' should all be changed to 'f'.

[Romdeau]

He must've been high when he wrote that.

[Kyrie]

Sounds familiar somehow...
You just took this directly from the profanely named parody of "Eats, Shoots and Leaves", didn't you?
That explains why the proposed changes make no sense, the point of the book is to look at language in a less than serious light.

[Romdeau]

Well he did give credit to Mark Twain...whoever that guy was

[erestor]

mark twain is most famous with writing 'tom sawyer' and 'huckleberry finn'

mark twain wiki